の負荷を愛する
'BOUT ME
24 January'
Best viewed with FF.
STAY TUNED or kindly leave
Attached to Gary Ong
If our love was a story book, we would meet on the very first page,
The last chapter would be about how I’m thankful for the life we’ve made.
flashbacks
CREDITS
Designer: nic96ole
Others: one
two
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Thursday, September 30, 2010 @ 10:08 PM
hehe. since i am waiting for my drama show to finish loading, i shall update on what had happened lately.
Well, ever since boyfriend went for his attachment. i spent every of my single day at home , not rotting. not mugging but enjoying! and right after my router is fixed, i have been spending more time in my room than the living room. Heh. Most of my days are like: Sleeeping , watching drama and reading! heh heh.
I had just finish watching xiong(2) mao(1) ren(2) which was being directed by jay chou!This show is interesting at the same time , it wasn't realistic. But, i still managed to finish watching it! (((; I have started reading back harry potter. Thank god that my ex-primary schoolmate(who live an overhead bridge across me) has a whole series of harry potter book. And she was so kind to lend it to me the whole set! I have just finished reading the first book, started on the second one now. guess after i have complete the whole set, i would be ready to watch harry potter and the deathly hollows part1 in the theatre! (;
Oh ya, forget to mention that results is out! I am so luckyyyy to pass all the module. especially software design. TP was really slow in releasing the result. I thought it will be released in the morning, and so, i went to their webby every 15mins to check! I was in a half-awake mode so whenever i see that results wasnt out, i continued to sleep. And guess what, i have nightmares of me failing the subject~ hoho, that really explain that dreams work opposite of reality isnt it? :X
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Monday, September 20, 2010 @ 1:55 PM
The pretty moments of life
For the past one week , everyday goes like this : Boyfriend, food, laughter!
We went back to marina square again the week after our exams. Yes, we went back to to prize stage to play. And then i realise and understand the addiction of gambling. Come back for more because you believe you are going to win like how you win the previous time. But reality hit us back. Or maybe luck wasnt with us that day? Well, we lost quite a huge sum of money. errrr, i cant remember was it 30bucks or more. but i am sure after accumulating the total amount, it wasnt worth it. having to win two big soft toys for 50bucks + ? ARGH! it is not worth.
But actually, it wasnt about winning, it is the thrill of gaining back what u have put in during the game! haha. but sometimes, we even feel like smashing the whole machine.
Anyways, we are not going to go back to waste money anymore. Or maybe be back after boyfriend got his iphone4? hah! it is abit too early to say right now. A month more to go~
Anyways, we had an early celebration @souel garden last friday! it had been half a year ever since we stepped into this buffet restaurant! (; We have fun cooking, picking food, making our own sweeet/salty soup and of course not forgetting the chocolate fondue! We were there for 4hours! (;
Night was spent at boyfriend house! I was so happy to hear that his daddy actually let me stayed for a night.
Oh ya, i dint mention that daddy got me an iphone ! (; it wasnt an iphone4 but an iphone3GS . anyways, it doesnt matter to me whether is it an iphone4. Honestly, I prefer iphone3GS over iphone4. And then, on a fateful night(cant remember which day), boyfriend came over my house to stay, and we jailbroke the phone together!argh! scary little thing! i was so scared that it failed because my house did not have much connection ! but it succeed! (;
So,i spent the night @boyfriend house , exploring cydia and installous. So many apps to download! shall do it one by one! (; just that, it was troublesome to send pictures to my lappy ! have to mail them in one by one as i couldnt sync my phone to itunes anymore! all thanks to itunes v10! i cant even find itunes9 nowww! Grrrr://
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Saturday, September 11, 2010 @ 11:45 PM
Just one looonnnng story to share here!
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your partner's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. (;
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Thursday, September 09, 2010 @ 1:29 AM
A RANDOM POST!
All thanks to the exam period! First, it ate my sleeping time. Second, it ate my leisure time. And third, it made me a "no life" person!But well, everything is over nowwww. I can get back to my life where i can sleep soundly, do some happy/interesting things, and get back my life! :D
So, this post of mine would be a random one; which mean i will be posting some events here and there for the past two weeks! Cant blame me as i am busy studying and studying most of the time~ Well, give me some days and i will have something interesting to post when boyfriend finish his exams!
A week ago , we were celebrating boyfriend's mum birthday at home. We bought her a red wallet and she looked quie happy with it. And because it was her birthday, everyone treated her just like a queen! hah! his brother went down to the minimart to buy drink, his youngest borther listened to what his mum say, and for us..
WE WENT SHOPPING WITH HER ! (;
Heh. thats a random decision.but we were thinking since we were in charge buying KFC home. how about going out with his mum ?(; We had a birthday celebration at home by eating KFC chicken, fries and bee hoon. and of course not forgetting her birthday cake!
 Thats a picture of her with her birthday cake!
And this cake was really delicious!
We went studying at starbucks T2 at night. and oh god, it was really a condusive study environment! We managed to study throughout the whole night. Somehow, studying there was addicitive. So, we went there for three consecutive days! hah! Just that, i went to sleep straight after we went home. :x
Well, in order to make our study night interesting,
This is what we do during our resting time:
 
heheh. So creative right! thats what my boyfriend drew! (; - inspire by doodleart by otto! (;
And thats what that make us awake: COFFFFEEEEEE !
We almost tried all types of coffeee there; be it hot coffee, espresso, frapucinno etc etc.
boyfriend's favourite would be white chocolate mocha, and mine would be any frapucinno adding java chips! oh my god, java chip is loves! (why is learning java so annoying but his good friend- java chip is so adorable? hah, lame ._.)
Oh well, this post shall be the longest post apart from the genting post i have ever type! hah. know why? because i am at starbucks using lapppy while boyfriend is mugging for his final paper tmr! hope all goes well for him!
And for me, i would say i am so lucky to have two papers for this semester! but loads of theory to memories. i am suprised myself that i manage to get 24chapters into my small brain! :O wireless was a killer, but lucky i have my coursework to prevent me from failing. and for today's paper, it was eassssyy peasssyyy just that loads of writting needs to be done! argh! i actually rest my hand by shaking it, and the teacher laugh at my actions! grrrrrrrrrr.. hah!
Thats all i have to possstttt for today! well, good luck for those who are having exam these few days! JIAYOU!(:
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Wednesday, September 01, 2010 @ 1:32 PM
This month
This month was pretty quite mundane.(That explain the infrequent updates i have!) Nothing much happen as this month was considered the exam week(or maybe i should say weeks instead of week(?)) and all we could think of was "what time are we going to start studying?", "Where should we study?" and etc. And because of the whole chunk of notes that (no matter what) should be inside our head before stepping into the exam room , we head out to relieve our stress! Hoho. We went kbox(?) again! This is the second time i went with boyfriend but well, everything turned out great! In fact, i have manage to dig out boyfriend's courage that have been all along hiding in him. Singing has been our hobby ever since the first trip to kbox!(; and thank god that kbox is having promotion! if not, i think we are going to be broke!
I went to school with boyfriend today! I went library to photocopy his notes while he went to have his SIP launch. And Guess what? He was attached to Pico Creative Centre@ Kallang! Thank god, thank god, thank god! Although the pay wasn't that attractive(400plus per month; $2+ per hour), at least the place wasn't that far from his house!(; Heh. I just hope that everything will go smoothly for him during his attachment! (;
Alright! I guess thats' all for today! (; I shall take a nap right now! :D
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