I think my self-esteem is decreasing these two days.

Elaboration:
Firstly, I think i am getting sad/emo/depress over the 3kg i've gained. it has beeen like 4 months long ever since i stepped onto the weighing machine. and this is what i've found out. Beeeeen asking all my family members/boyfriend/classmates that i've seeeeen , and they dint realised anything about me. that's even saddening because, whenever i looked at the mirror i realised that 3kg difference myself =/
Secondly, i think my PMS this month was something. because lots of things happpppen . and small litttle things makes me link to many many other things. and i am lousy because i cant control my brain myself. and poooor boyfriend have to suffffer. ;P
Thirdly, Previously i've done something without finding more about the decision i've made. all these literally make me regret. So now, i've to re-do what i've done. And because all these had to do with my future, i'm trying my best to change it. guesss what? now all i could do is to wait for the results here. i can tell you guys that i am expecting.Yes, beeeen telling everyone that ''dont have expectation cause' it will lead to disappointment '' now me myself am expecting it. but hey! thats diffferent. i do things for a reason, and this time tooo! So now, really reallly bobian le. and waiting for the result made my heart itchy itchy! boyfriend had claimed that i'm fickle-minded, and now, i really thinkkk i'm . gahhh -gahhhh. :( i deserved to scold myself here''seeee lah! never think properly then anyhow choooose. now huo gai lor!'' :(


All things should have solution so as to improve my Attitude/ Feeeling about it making it bettter, isnt it.? and here are all these that i would do.

Solution : 1) Regarding my weight, i think i neeeed to cut down on everything i eat and start to welcome sports in my life. ( er, i dont mind sports actually, because i love to jumpppp around!;D) and so, i'm going to eat when neccessary and cut down on those unnecessary break-meals. Apart from that, i'm going to exercise starting from tomorrrow. school's starting and i dunwan anyone in classss to say i'm fat. EEEW=/ . So, be it cycling/walking/running/joggging/ (the list goes on but not swimming! HEH!;X) , yupp, i'm going to do all theseeeeeeeeeeeee in a weeeeeeeekk. Also, Bubbletea! i'm going to cut down the sugar intake tooo! because, i dunwan get diabetes/ dunwan to have injection everyday so, i am going to drink lesss of sugared drink, i'm welcoming plain water like ice-mountain brand in my lifeee sooon. Fastfoood too! , not going to touch fast fooood next few weeeeek i guessss. (thinking of all those oil which they used that will be transfered to my body literally made me cryyyyyy) >.< thats for all i guesss. And And And, boyfriend is going to do all theseeeee with meeeeeee.! (HEH! if you're reading this, i dont care whether u're going to cry/shout/scream because what i'm doing, you're doing it toooo! ;P)
2)cant do anything about PMS, but it's ending soooooon ya. this is like so nature for girls you seeeee. and i'm so much better because i dont have any temper , isnt it? HEH!;X
3) About this important thing that would got to do with my future, i will just have to wait wait wait and wait. All thanks to Mr Leee who's helping me right now with all the admin. Nothing i could do i guesssss. well, god will help me make the smart decision which is best for me. and what i can do to make myself better would be, not to expect so muchhhhh. =/

Bad Bad Bad post i haveeeee. and hope the next post would be a bettter one. ! thats all folks!