の負荷を愛する
'BOUT ME
24 January'
Best viewed with FF.
STAY TUNED or kindly leave
Attached to Gary Ong
If our love was a story book, we would meet on the very first page,
The last chapter would be about how I’m thankful for the life we’ve made.
flashbacks
CREDITS
Designer: nic96ole
Others: one
two
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Tuesday, March 31, 2009 @ 8:44 PM
 OKAY, i'm going to make this blog alive again . because i felt very irratated seeing the previous post. and both my fingers and brain came to be itchyyyyy. So people, welcome me back!;D Actually many thinqs happpened these 5days. and one post definately cant update everything i wanted to say. So, i'm going to use the next 3days to write out all the happpenings .(;
A sudden wakeup -call woke me upp on the 27th. Saying that , grandpa couldnt make it anymore. because his blood pressure was decreasing till the machine itself couldnt measure it. That news seriously make my heart sink to the bottom. Previous night was sent to the hospital because he does not have sufficient energy and he dint want to consume any foood. and so, once i heard the news, my family rushed all the waaaayyy to the hospital. Grandpa was weak, and one loook from him, i could feeel that i could not recognise him anymore. Nothing couldnt be done except to be by his sideeeee. Many others aunts, uncles and cousins came. and till the very last breathe grandpa could hold, he dont seeemed that he wanted to leave the worlddd. His eyes were reluctanly opeenn too. It makes me wonder that he might have any will to make. Unfortunately , none could hear it. because he was tooo weak to actually talk it all out. Dadddy's hand came to closeee his eyes, and everyone calling him to rest in peace. But once again, i must really say grandpa was really really strong as even he stop breathing, his heartbeat continues to beat for the next 30mins. that 30minutes to us were just like we were at the tip of the rollercoaster ride. Because,no one bears to seee him offf.
Wake was held near the multi-purpose hall, and i guess everyone dint have a gooood time. Tears shedddd, happenings were told to many other relatives who came. But what i really felt gooood was, at least grandpa's death came expectedly. and we did seee him offff. in addition, he's no longer in pain anymore. (; some words that i would like to say before i close this chapter of someone who's important in my lifeeeeeee.
Dear grandpa, you're the one who watch me grow up,the one who accompany me down to the playground whenever you're freee.the one who also teaches me how to play chinese chesss when i'm small. and of all the small little things you have done, (like saving the best foood for me, letting me watch my favourite channel whenever i like.) i really appreciate it. and you're the best grandpa i've known so far in my lifeee. and of course , i'm sure you will be the best in my whole lifetime. But unfortunately, your time have reached. and you're going to another world. I give you my words that, i will study harddd like you useeddd to tell mee, respect and take care of my father. So you too ya?Rest in peace, and find grandma andd 4th aunt alrights.(; because, you will no longer be in pain anymoreeeeee.
Also, Things to addddd, Bel's date was cancelled before the day came . >.<> Next,Jiayu called me out 7 days ago. and in fact, i wanted to meeet her past few days for a sakaeeeeeeeeeeee dinnner to update each other on our life too. and come to think of it, i have not seen this woman for like 3 months and counting.=/ Sorrry jiayu! :( Wake's officially overrrrr todayyy.(meaning ashes was collected to the temple, and many many moreeeee.) Bad news was : i've to wear non-bright colours for the next 45 days. it's suppppper hard for me ! because, all my clothes were bright colours! >.< , hopeeee these days passsedddddd soooooon. Stoppped here, if not someone's gonnna falll asleeeeep ! Gonna post the other rest tmwr! stay tunned!;DD
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Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 11:41 PM
 cauqht ''unborn'' today at vivocity. Through advertisment, i thought it was a really really interesting and horror movie. But guess what? it turned out just to be a so-so movie. Some parts are really shocking as they came in sudden, however expected ending as usual. And so, that purely ruineddd our date we haveeeee. >.< Someone slept during half of the movie when it's showing. And even comment it as a ''boring movie.'' really really dint expect it to be like that.So, dear's going to chooose for the next movie date we have. because for the last two movies that i have choosen , i always have the same commments !  while shopppping round vivocity, caught with the scene of the sunset. and i'm so dumb not to have it capture! its was reallly reallly niceeeeee with the colour combination of blue-ish pinkk. Awwwwwwww. and just niceeeeeee with the right person. it would be even perfect if we were to stroll along the pathwayyyyy. but movie timing just caught right in betweeen . Date was prettty okay today, and i did enjoyyy myself! heeee.
Bad news was, grandfather just got admitted into the hospital due to the vomitting of the blood and not wanting to eat. and that impression i have seeeen through him did really reallly make me saddddd. never in my life, i've seeen grandpa with such a painful expression, and even he himself wanted to get into the hospital this time. i dont know what will reallly happpen to him as such thing happpen so fast in just a day. oh man, this is badddddddddd.=/ if i were to know such thing would happpen , i would get myself at home to takecare of things . but neither do i expected such thing to happen, and that makes me feeeeling so guilty because i even went out for a date. eeeew, this feeeelings really suck.=/ i did not get sick of it, but in fact, i am going clueless because i dont know what fate have in store for grandpa hereeee.>.<
hope everything would be alright, i guessss sooo.
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009 @ 8:00 PM
 Did you know, its all because of you that made me started to like playing pool?(;
Actually, did an interesting thing today. Went in to the 4D- area , and wanted to get ourselves four digits by contribute two favourite numbers we like. and just when i got myself one.? guess what? the system did not get in! oh man.!=/, i thought it will be really really nice if we could win that so we could save our money for ourselves and at the same time, get to some nice restaurant for a wonderful dinner. eeeew. but thank god, those numbers did not get out! hahah.
qrandfather was looking quite alright today. Because he managed to answer what i asked him. and because of that, i did really feeeeel relieved. i think when time come by, things will get complicated once and again. =/ . 49 days of my grandpa death officially ended. thats means, my mum's able to eat meat again. and that also means that, grandma house is going to have niceeee fooood to eat instead of those fake-food that made of flour.
Going to catch unborn tomorrrrowwwwwww. and now did i realise, it has beeeen a prettty lonnng time ever since i went out to shoppppp and stufffff.! get what i mean? HEH!;D
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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 8:49 PM
 School's starting soooon in less than a month, i guess. I wonder, have i been playing hard? this holiday is soooon coming to an end. it really seeemed so fast just like a train runnning out of the tunnel after entering it. Times flies so fast. These weeks or rather months, i have been spending goood quality time with friends. Taking 3 first months helping out with laoshi with his drama stuff. and the last fewww weeeks with both friends, classmates and guild members too. And my new life will be starting sooooooon. Hope i will be able to find a friend that have a total character with me. So at least , i wouldnt be that boredddddddddddd. But talking about holidays, 5-6 months just passed me and wave goodbye. Wondering what have i beeeeen going during these months. Nothing Bad really reaally happen , i guesss. Whats more the bad things are never worst than the last experience. However, goood thing would definately be the genting trip i had with my tuition mates, having fun timeeeeeee out together, gettting some oddd job in results with some money and of course own myself a special someone.(;  Yes, i have beeeen hearing from everyone that ''coming sooon'' was rather a normal bad show where people rated it 2/10. But i still dragged myself to watch it. As it was the only horrror movie that the cinema is showing at that point of time, and at the same time where i have the feel to watch horror movie, And so, watched it with dear. and it turned out rather boring like what everyone had beeeen saying. But i will definately remember this movie. First, it was the first time where i wore my tank top (without a jacket) into the cinema!, and second, this was our first movie. Really lousy leh, first movie wasnt that great. but due to the great companion i have, i shall rate it 4/10. Afterall, company was rather important than the show because even it was a boring show, i dint get to sleeeeep. As i promised myself, i dont really have planning for what am i going to do before school's start. probably no working anymore and spending really quality time with dear i guesss. because, we might not be able to have nice goood time out when school's start. watching unborn reallly sooooon and 28th meeeeting up with belinda to catch up with things as we have not beeeeen meeeting ever since 1 month ago. and thats' really badddddd. grandfather came homeeee, and he's still not talking. i dont know what should i do either, so does the rest. i guess what we can really do now is to accompany him. Reason of whye he's not talking might be probably he has no energy to. =/ okay, gona stop here and hoppeeeeee everything will be alright sooon >.< nights earthlings.!;D
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Monday, March 23, 2009 @ 12:08 AM
OH MY TIAN~ >.< style="color:#999999;"> i know i'm bad to leave this blog alone for quite sometime, but i'm pretty busy for my work. HEH! as work finally ended, this post is gonna be a suppper suppper looonnnng one. not only that, it would be a worddddy oneeee tooo. i couldnt capture any nice photos as due to my panda eyes , and whats more, expo hall doesnt have any nice scenary ._. So, Of course to start with something nice because someone's like hinting me to post it out. i've found my special someone. Awwwwwwww, and yes, i will expect shocking appearance everywhereeeee because me myself know that its super fast . but it just came out so magically i guess. i am still wondering how can i talk so much with someone i just knew for almost more than 2 hours ! anyways, i'm really really fortunate to knoww him over supernova . And lastly (before i last this portion) , to my favourite guy in the world: though we know each other for such a short time, the littttlee tthings that you do counts. I've also neeed to thank fate for letting me to knowww you, because it was reaalllly reeallly scary to know people online and turn out like that you know. and yes, shit happens, obstacles never failed to appear in our life, but one thing that i am assured of and wanted you to know is that, i want to seee us together overcoming those smelly shits and ugly obstacles thats always goes in our way. we will definately work ways out and find the exit together ya? and like how you do believe in us, me too. (; Next, For work. head off to work straight after back from chalet. popular was named popular because it was simply popular. there was many many people starting from the first day. and not only that, people are really kiasu because just when the entrance door is open, everyone chiong inside. and the feeling wasnt really goood being there. My narration of the job was to let people to approach me, as well as putting books back into the same position. okay, and this job sound easy but it wasnt okay. because time seriously ppasssss very slowwwwly. and i'm so lucky to have colin with me the whole event. though we're not that really close, but at least we did crap and have fun scolding people behind. wahaha!. In fact, this popular event job did really teaches me threee things! 1. To put back the things i toook , be it in supermarket or bookshop, because sorting out things and putting back in place wasnt easy at all. 2. To really really study hard and study as far as i can because right now , i think studies is the easiest thing ever on earth . Having to work at this event, wasting time just by standing can only earn me 5bucks per hour. In the past, i really think 5bucks is nothing . Not until i came into this event, when even my friends were there to accompany me, time was still passing slowly. This incident came when i wanted to buy boooks from the event yesterday, i was telling colin : '' eh, got 5bucks boook leh! so cheap lor!'' and colin replied'' 5bucks very expensive leh, its our one hour pay .'' and then! i remember that! oh man, =/ . And so, i am so going to swear to study and get into the job i like (not standing or promoting definately) . 3. i came know my friends even more better.! and actually the purpose of me working there is to get back to my friends. I think if i did not calculate wrong, right after O'levels i have not been contacting them. and i am really missing those happy times, crapping and of course our all-time-favourite recess time! So nice to have them around.And, during the job, what i loook forward was always the : Lunch-break , Dinner break!. and so, i managed to talk more to that ah-ting, elizaberth and of course staceyyy. not much to momo because we did not have the same breaks. awwww. :( meeet sooon , momo! i really really got alot to update you leh! >.<>.<>.< And of course i hope that we will not stop to contact each other rights, my friends? ((; So, meeeeet up real sooon okays!;D on the other hand, i am happppy because i managed to survive the threee days . that means i'm strongerrrrrrrrr!;DD even if it was hell, i've to thank dear that he accompanied me homeeeeeeeeeeee. ;D
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Thursday, March 19, 2009 @ 11:40 AM
I realised the most beautiful things should left yet to be discovered Some are actually riqht in front of you, Some are kept under covers, And some You have to gradually let go. I felt like a helpless victim, and yet now do i know, that too much i did had really caused much troubles to earth. It's time now, And definately no more watching how time go by, let's all change for the better. And i really hope so,From the bottom of my heart.
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Wednesday, March 18, 2009 @ 11:45 PM
 HEY PEOPLE, i'm backkk. and yep, i did extend my stay in the chalet for another day. (; anyways, chalet was fun. Even if the place was held at changi ,(which most people wouldnt dare to book due to the old changi hospital situated near there.) but the place was really really niceeee. this was one of the sunset i capture when i was with SD and DD, it was really really lovely. and yes, i did witness this. First day was much to blog, because we were there watching tee-vee all the time till midnight. =/ . it wasnt what we expected, because people are smoking, and there's nothing much we can do. we did played some blackjack too. and i earn what i lost back. the fun was back when midnight strikes, where we headed to OCH. the thought of going it really gave me goosebumbs>.< , because i really dont wish to go. but since everyone's there, i shouldnt have much to be scared of either ya.i really have to thank ah gong, ah gong did help to calm me down alittle. Thanks ahgong!(; dare-dare game was a must-must thing to us i guess. and so, we played. luck wasnt with me, and yes frenchkissing was repeated twice thrice (i forgetten how much times) and it was with the same person though. when morning came, everyone's sleeping. i cant make myself sleep. (dont know why either.) i was still active, and wasnt yawning nor sleepy. and so, heart-to-heart talk with gary, did accompanied me well. because not even limey, i was shocked that i can actually talked to someone that i just met for more than 2 hours. dont ask me why, or perharps, he's someone that makes me comfortable to talk to. And we did talked about our life, secondary school's life, audition (definately) , and problems we encounter when we were in school or something. But it was really really niceee. (; Second day, i was drove back home to collect my new clothing as i dint bring along. and came back chalet. something did happen like what everyone knew it. but i was reallyreaally guilty that i even pullled someone down in the river even when he's innocent himself. Not even that, things came tangled all around even. i was afraid that i might even turned unwelcome that day. that really really made me think, and so, i went out to clam myself down. So sorry for people who got worried or something. bobo did consult me, and things were cleared and of course misunderstanding were told too. bbq was successful as rain dint come that niqht. birthday song was sang , and it was soo sweeeeeeeeeettttt to have birthday celebrated like that even if it was a simple one. Afterall i did enjoy myself, even though we dint went pooling and more, (i guess we spend time more on watching television, HEH!;X) Yes again, things happened. It wasnt about whether u're angry or not. Have you ever realised? If it werent of this matter that happen, I werent know that, actually we do have problem , and it's just we are all hiding and avoiding it. I really really dont know what should i actually be doing. i really dont know if i continue to be in your life, would i continue being a troublemaker, making things worst for you. because, as a best friend, i wont want you to suffer.Even if i have to do it the hard way, if it's the goood of you, i would.
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